Read if you can till the end. . . . . . And so, here I begin. I treat this blog like my diary which is why I write so openly about anything and everything. Recently, life is being weirdly good to me. I'm not being ungrateful or having disregard for everything that has happened but it does surprise me that life's treating me well for once. At this point most of you are going to be thinking "Wow, what an ungrateful ***** " or "Here come the complains and the whining" but just keep on reading. You'll know what this is about. Now that everything is so great and things are falling into place, there's something essentially big that is missing. Emotions and feelings. I don't feel anything except for fear. I feel this mixture of fear and numbness bubbling inside my chest. I am actually now used to feeling that way for some weird reason. I don't feel joy, happiness ( I only feel happy around this one person who I hope is reading t...